Keepin It Real...

Since the crime in March and June 2013 on me and my children, I've been having a hard time getting over the feeling of letting my children down and having them experience bad things that a child should be protected from. Looking for help via www. to help me cope with my past experience of childhood, young adulthood and marriage. Quote of today to live by day by day.  Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control:now Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.

“Rename your “To-Do” list to your “Opportunities” list. Each day is a treasure chest filled with limitless opportunities; take joy in checking many off your list.” © Steve Maraboli Organize my photography prop room Record measurements of my hair Clear up space on laptop Study extreme couponing Braid Jr.s hair Retouch daughters hair Weigh myself to update my Bodyspace Scrapbook a two pages (last time I scrapbook was sometime last year). Recycle plastic/can/bottles Pedicure Print out inventory reciepts

Okay so today is July 10th and right now I have a lot of different thoughts and emotions of being afraid to live my life the way I vision and me not being afraid of the one thing that I allowed to bring me down emotionally, physically and The way I vision my life is to live faithfully in the Lords willing to do HIS will, to better myself spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.  I am this beautiful, caring, unique, xubatiant, bossy, friendly, good listener with my heart, fun, goofy and spicy chic. Sadly to say over the period of three years I've been disconnected from some of my good qualities inpersonalities

I allowed you to hender me from being me in cases of voicing myself the way I do, regardless if I did you're not a fair man to respect. You are a very private person, suspiciously doing things, loses patence easily, if found in a bad mood stay far away. don't show the love he says that is deep Don't show your fears Angry and not a fair person.

So this morning along with many other things that starts your day, I decided to twist my natural and cut off straight ends that was a result of my previously pressed hair ends. My children are asleep and I'm about to watch this movie call Kiss the BRIDE and eat some cake that I baked on Monday (that will be another blog post sometime this week lol). Picutres coming soon on my hair twisties later until then I'll see you later. First week of December I deep condition my hair after shampooing with Dr. Miracle's Cleanse & Condition Deep Conditioning Treatment and covered head with a thermal conditioner cap by Urban Essence

This morning like any other mornings I awake with thoughts and memories of what I see now as shameness and a long dissappointness in myself because of the wrong choices or being blind to a person who was so deceptive in me and my children lives. As I contemplate on my experience I see me as another statistic of disfunctional ability to live in my ownself for me. Facing the unwantness of believing that there is a true love for me, that I can trust a man, that my children are going to be safe with a man, that my daughter and sons will not follow in my and my mothers shoes (footsteps), that my children will not let what happened to them hinder them for being who they're destine to be.      Mornings is like an awakening of new possibilities for me until a moment of the past cuts in front of my new awakening to start a new day. This house was once a home before he decided to keep his visit a stay. What I've been through in this crazy, unforgetable happenings in this marr...