MY MORNINGS!

This morning like any other mornings I awake with thoughts and memories of what I see now as shameness and a long dissappointness in myself because of the wrong choices or being blind to a person who was so deceptive in me and my children lives. As I contemplate on my experience I see me as another statistic of disfunctional ability to live in my ownself for me. Facing the unwantness of believing that there is a true love for me, that I can trust a man, that my children are going to be safe with a man, that my daughter and sons will not follow in my and my mothers shoes (footsteps), that my children will not let what happened to them hinder them for being who they're destine to be.
     Mornings is like an awakening of new possibilities for me until a moment of the past cuts in front of my new awakening to start a new day. This house was once a home before he decided to keep his visit a stay. What I've been through in this crazy, unforgetable happenings in this marriage has molded me to believe anything that I once thought was a believable life story even though I really do believe that these beautiful stories are true and do exist but the words of another man or woman would say NOT FOR ME. A piece of my heart seems to be holding on to a second of what could be possible chance of loving and trusting a REAL MAN. Would I ever be able to TRUST another man? This is a question that I whole heartedly ask myself and before I can finish the thought of this question its an immediately I CAN NEVER BELIEVE a man, "then my memories of my marriage come into play". Shaking my head to the things that he put me through and put my daughter and sons through...the pain and thoughts of his doings is just not right its just not right smh.
     Awaiting to move to start the beginning of a NEW LIFE!